College is a universe of its own with its own set of rules, or lack thereof. Equal parts chaos, brilliance and some questionable decision-making, It is a place where things that make zero sense anywhere else somehow feel completely normal. Here are just a few examples of the logic that works when you’re a college student:
Only in college can you write a 5-page paper at 3:12 a.m. while eating cold pizza in nothing but a towel.
Breakfast is a fruit cup at 1 p.m., dinner happens at 2 a.m. And that seven-page paper due by 11:59 p.m.? The one your instructor said it could not be done at the last minute, because they clearly do not understand how it is done? Yeah, that is getting submitted at 11:58 p.m. and 47 nanoseconds.
Making up for sleep in your 2 p.m. Chemistry class because your instructor’s voice sounds like a lullaby.
Group Project are disasters. One person does everything, one provides the vibes, and one goes AWOL. Miraculously, you all get the same grade.
Sleep Schedule = Free Balling
Only in college can you take a quick nap in the most random place. Library floor, under the stairwell, on top of your laundry—as long as it is not on fire.
Eating schedule = Chaos. Lunch might be an energy drink, an energy bar, with a sprinkle of regret and anxiety.
Two cups of coffee, one energy drink, and one bubble tea plus vibes? That’s a full meal. 80% liquid energy, 20% anxiety.
Eating cereal with orange juice because you ran out of milk and are too lazy to go to the store? Totally acceptable.
Only in college can you be broke but have a $1200 laptop.
You eat ramen six days a week but never miss a Spotify or YouTube Premium payment.
You will also spend $7 on a cup of coffee called Sunlight Strawberry Cloud Latte without blinking.
And somehow, “hey, can you watch this for me”, you entrust your most expensive belongings, including a laptop, phone and million-dollar textbook to a complete stranger while you go buy a bag of chips from the vending machine that leaves you with 75 cents in your bank account.
Random debates with your roommates at 3 a.m. when you are supposed to be studying.
Is cereal soup?
How ketchup goes really well with Peanut Butter and Jelly (Yes, I am talking about you Rachel).
Would you rather have a horn or a tail?
While this lifestyle can be overwhelming or fun in the moment, legend has it that after graduation, you either miss the chaos or dread the structure of life outside college. Some say in the real world, last-minute work doesn’t fly. They say chaos works in college, but the workforce demands strategic planning.
