As an amateur dessert critic and a queer woman, I have a great deal of experience with sweets and teets. On a scale of one to ten, Hooters scores a six in both categories. I tried a vanilla bean shooter, a piece of turtle cheesecake, chocolate cake, and key lime pie.

The turtle cheesecake was very underwhelming. Not much flavor, the best part was the caramel drizzle on top. For the $5 price tag, you could get a better dessert at a gas station. 4/10

On the other hand, the chocolate cake was overwhelmingly rich. My teeth hurt after just one bite. Again, too expensive for what you get. 5/10

The key lime pie was the best of the larger desserts. Personally, I haven’t had many key lime pies, but I liked this one. It was sweet and tart, but not too much of either. 7/10

The vanilla bean shooter was so good! It was a shot glass filled with a vanilla custard-type filling and a pie crumb base with bit of whipped cream on top. The flavor was predictable in the best way. Definitely my favorite of the desserts, even though it wasn’t very big. 9/10

Overall, I felt like the Hooters experience is more about atmosphere than good food. If you go in expecting very little, you won’t be disappointed.