The Radish: Why Are Memes’ Life Expectancies Shortening?


Lilly Ames, Designer

Memes are dying prematurely, but why? Many would lead you to believe it is because the memes aren’t as funny as the ones produced in the past, or that the new generation does not have the attention span to truly soak in a meme’s full potential. However, when looking for answers to life’s important questions, one cannot rely on word of mouth, but instead must look to science.

Neil deGrasse Tyson, esteemed scientist and a meme himself going back as far as 2011, has been studying this tragic meme phenomenon long before it managed to catch the attention of the public. What he and a team of other professional scientists have found… will shock you.

This team of scientists discovered a new virus that specifically attaches itself to memes and quickly drains them of their dankticity. This is not the surprising part though. Many scientists have suspected that viruses attach themselves to memes.

However, Mr. Tyson has proposed something no one could believe. The viruses are not like computer viruses, but more like  human pathogens. Mr. Tyson suspects that humans themselves may be catching this virus from viewing memes that are already infected with it. His evidence for this is the tide pod meme, which somehow made itself into reality and turned into the “tide-pod challenge.”

Mr. Tyson’s team has yet to find a cure for this virus, but he advises that people wash their hands before and after the use of computers and perhaps wear eye protection before surfing Tumblr or Reddit. When asked what his final words to the public would be he exclaimed, “Watch out guys, we’re dealing with a badass over here!”

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